Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.
A.F. Bradley, New York. Public domain · Wikimedia Commons
Mark Twain
American writer born Samuel Clemens; author of The Adventures of Tom Sawyer and Adventures of Huckleberry Finn. Lectured widely and invested in the Paige typesetter; lived 1835–1910.
19 quotes
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.
Go to heaven for the climate, hell for the company.
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd druther not.
It usually takes me more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.
I didn't have time to write a short letter, so I wrote a long one instead.
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
The more I learn about people, the more I like my dog.
Honesty is the best policy — when there is money in it.
The older we grow the greater becomes our wonder at how much ignorance one can contain without bursting one's clothes.
The report of my death was an exaggeration.
Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn't.
I was born modest, but it didn't last.
Man is the only animal that blushes — or needs to.
There are basically two types of people. People who accomplish things, and people who claim to have accomplished things. The first group is less crowded.